Self Love Journey: Update 3
Sunday Morning, cuppa tea and throw on top.
Barcelona has been a mess for the last 5 days. Protests have taken the streets in ways I haven’t seen before. Helicopters overfly the city day and night, making it slightly difficult to sleep some nights. But it’s Sunday and the vibe is calm in my home.
I wake up late feeling rested, grab my cozy thick robe and head to the kitchen. As I put the kettle on, I get my cup ready. I feel like writing, I think to myself. As I get my tea ready, I head to the couch, grab my laptop and here I am.
It’s been 3 weeks since I made my goal plan for the rest of the year. I go through it and find how I have done some but not much of it. I’d usually feel guilty but not this time. Other growth has been happening and I acknowledge it, it’s okay.
The only thing that makes me feel incomplete is the program. The one I had created and still pending to launch. Am I resisting it? Maybe.
I shared a big honest update in my newsletter two nights ago after two years of Mailchimp silence. I broke it, broke my silence and with it, several personal truths on the way I want to do my medical work now – combined with writing, intuition and somehow a pinch of energy work. (You can read the newsletter breakout here.)
It felt good, and with it came again a reminder to my created program pending to be launched. I think to myself how I don’t know how to do it. How it’s good yet not fully clear, or why would people join that thing. All the big sabotaging we do to ourselves, right there.
That program is meant to be the self love journey, and these updates here are part of that journey to be shared for anyone else going through the same thing. I am updating here and keeping myself accountable of the things I’m still pending to do without the guilt of not having done them yet.
Self love is indeed a big, deep road full of turns everywhere.
I want to make this update short, with only a big note and shoutout to all the negative talk and chatter we allow in our heads, because we are our worst critic. Yes.
I’ve been having lots of flow, growth and clarity in the last weeks. Suddenly feeling slow in the last few days. And I’ve come to understand that this happens not because we’re going backwards, no, but because there are times to thrive and in the thrive, there are times to rest and decompress from it all. You climb the mountain with pauses to breathe deeper in between.
Today I am on a pause to breathe. To see my steps taken, my journey walked, my upgrades and positive changes in the last days since update 1 & 2. Today I am taking the time to think back a little bit and see the whole picture as it has happened.
Loving ourselves requires us to stop and look back occasionally to see all that you’ve overcome and grown.
Loving ourselves requires slowing down to breathe from all the brave, non-stop climb.
Loving ourselves requires that we think and see ourselves in the mirror and smile at that person in front of us. To thank her/him, to show her/him love. The kind of love that can’t come from outside of these skin wrap we all own.
Loving ourselves is accepting us, our past, our decisions, our present, our feelings, our thoughts, with no regrets, with no judgement. Just love and acceptance for who we are and for how we’ve done our best with what we have had at each and every single moment of our past and present.
Yes, take a time to slow down. To look back for the span of a cup of tea and see where and how you’re different from the person you were a year ago, a decade ago, a month ago, even a day ago.
If I see myself in the mirror right now I can see how I’m certainly different in a way that I feel love for myself rather than the fear that filled me for my entire life. I see how in the last year I’ve healed and peeled endless and important layers of fear, allowing myself see an essence I never knew I was or had. I see someone who’s gaining perspective back with such a different, warmer and stronger view of what being human means. Because of my personality (caring, warm, helpful, loyal) I see how I was always love. When I thought I was broken or rejected, attracting broken people, I know see and understand that it wasn’t because I was broken too, but because I was and am someone who repairs the broken or in need with a unique kind of love that comes out of me. Sounds maybe cheesy but not worried about these tiny-minded human adjectives anymore. It’s important and it has shifted everything for me in this game of life within the last years, months and days.
Self love is understanding what we are and being happy with it, accepting it, embracing it.
What makes us different and unique.
What we used to misunderstand or fear the most, that’s the thing – OUR thing.
That’s the one thing that needs being put under the spotlight for us to simply be. And with it comes a whole new world of people, experiences and understanding that will change the rest of our game forever and for good.
And this is the journey.
To more slow days to see ourselves, accept, embrace and enjoy that rare being that we are.
