Longings

Longings



I have a longing and it’s about connection.

It seems to be a constant, a deep soul desire, a sweet loving crave of gestures, of love, of smiles, of sharing, of hugs.

What a world of connectedness we live in yet all those cliche phrases out there telling us how us how disconnected we truly are are so true after all.

We crave connection yet we can’t describe fully what kind is it that we want. We live in the era of connectedness and communication. We are far more free and open to express ourselves and yet we fail to do so. Because fear. Because society. Because judgements. Because. Because.

What are we doing as a whole when we are evolving, improving and still find ourselves needing more?

I have a longing and I can assure I don’t feel alone. I’m surrounded and loved, so loved. I am here and there, building worlds among my known worlds.

And yet it doesn’t matter how surrounded we all are, it seems people feel lonely, empty, dry inside. That longing is not outside but inside.

We are being taught slowly how cultures can merge and learn from each other. All this eastern meets western phenomenon takes strength more and more every time, every day, in every social media channel.

Yoga, meditation, clothing, travels, traditions, medicine, remedies, even relationships. Everything is mixing and merging from one side to the other. We are in awe, in wonder at all that seems new to one’s eyes, where it has existed way before we can imagine far on the other side.

How beautiful it is to see the world merging like this, as long as the richness in it all isn’t lost.

The problem is when we confuse merging with deleting, shifting, exchanging. Our own identity for that one of others. In attempts of trying to fit in, to belong. That’s our human longing: belonging. Be. Longing.

I’ve traveled, seen, merged and released, my own and the new ones, not once but several times. What a beauty is to open up and even more when you realise you don’t need to drop what you already were but to be all of that which you find, love and resonates with your soul along the way.

I’ve learned 4 languages besides my mother tongue – currently into Hindi and finding out and amazingly enormous world of richness, whole-heartedness and also raw realities. That’s the world we live in and I’m in love with it.

When I first arrived to Spain 10 years ago, I suffered for my language, feeling pressed and almost obliged to change my accent somehow. I was young and in need to be understood so I changed some. 10 years later after having lived, gone and come back, I was more mature, clear and determined to just be me, speak my voice, my accent, myself as it would clearly be understood. And I was right.

Your background is a lot of who you are, and then your experience with the world out there makes more of who you become as you grow. We are all of what we experience, and also all of what we choose to change and heal.

Life is a longing journey. A search journey. A search of ourselves, of who we are, who we truly are in the middle of a rushed pace that dictates most of who we should be. Only to realise that it makes no one happy. Only to realise that only until we discover our identity again, with all the mixes, the scars, the growths, the healings, the good parts, everything, that’s when we become truly us and that’s when the world seems to suddenly be okay with it. Because we became okay with it first.

Our human longing is our search for the self, the love within, the acceptance of a whole. A whole which is first and only us.

And how difficult it becomes when in this rushed, paced world we must become still, silent, calm. That’s the modern struggle that’s being reinforced and enhanced by the merging of all sides, knowledges and cultures around the world.

The merging to bring us a sense of whole, of completeness, of newness to teach us what we’ve lacked up to this point. To expand our visions and bend our minds. To help us find that that we’re searching for.

The merging of worlds within this our world is basically teaching us all how to come back to just be. To accept that person that we are and be okay with it, and to go beyond into loving that person we see daily in the mirror. Learning to be silent, still, living in a calm mind so that solitude doesn’t feel like loneliness, but like wholeness instead.

What we long for is truly all the same thing for us all.

We long for love, for caring and connection. No matter how much or how far we’ve made it, the simplest and most human things will always remain the most important thing of all. The touch of the skins, the warmth of a hug and a kiss, the comfort of a familiar, accepting and unconditional look.

I have a longing and I know what it is. We’re only human and for this we live.


With Love,
Mariana


Credit Images: Unsplash

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