And Suddenly It Just Clicks
It’s two years and three days since I landed back in the city I used to call “my rebirth home”.
It’s been a time of the most unexpected imagined events that would put me in the express self-love lane. Only now I know.
A winding road to recovery from a burnt dream or so I thought. A road that brought me the most magical leaps that would take me through all sorts of dark and bright days.
Times which felt so long at times, so endless, so painful and confusing.
But suddenly you hear a very small set of words that clears it all. Once again in the most unexpected of ways. You suddenly understand the entire journey which had you troubled, stuck, stagnated.
It suddenly just clicks.
And you suddenly move on. Suddenly the energy within you shifts completely from top to bottom. Suddenly you understand, and peace overcomes and floods all of your being.
Suddenly your mind goes through the movie of your life, seeing not only this last part of the journey but also the bigger picture, the figures, the faces, the moments, the words in which you had let yourself down on expense of others. Suddenly you just click into the truth of it all and you just feel suddenly free, past, present and future.
This is your life and you suddenly feel it. You suddenly know something else, something essentially big.
Suddenly your entire mind, body and soul feels a whole reset in one go. Pieces falling and clicking in front of your very own eyes, with every thought, at any given second.
Suddenly life starts to flow when you speak your heart out. Fear but not more than courage and the unique desire to simply feel free from within.
Little did I know that the thing I missed, craved and wanted the most for months without end, was both the lesson and the blessing.
How magical is life when the same thing that came to you so unexpectedly and beautifully is the one same thing that throws you into an inner journey of coming to truly understand and value yourself – and eventually the same thing that shows up surprisingly around the corner to set you free from it, from the external longings of the past.
A small exchange, energy, hugs, words. A beautiful present releasing the old energy from the past and making space for the newness ahead.
Little did I know what this whole journey was about when it began two years (minus two days) ago.
No words can yet describe it all. No words can describe the sudden freedom, the sudden release and absolute reset both in mind and heart. No words can describe the gratitude within as it all starts flooding in – the understanding of what the self truly means, what its value is.
I had never seen or valued myself. I didn’t know it either. How do you even learn that? How do you even start to grasp on that? Such a nonexistent term in our human culture, yet it’s all what this life is about. Oneness. That which is God and Love and also You, and also Me.
After many different experiences and steps towards coming to fully embrace myself every time, I’ve only arrived to this depth of understanding now. Thanks to these last two years which followed another yet thick three year process.
Life works indeed in mysterious ways.
For now and as of today, I can only say: I am deeply glad and grateful for the ups and downs, but most of all: for the moments when it just suddenly clicks.
The Light Within. The One. The All.
Thank you, words that came running in between our souls to give me my moment of clarity and freedom.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Tathastu, Tathastu, Tathastu.
With Love,
Mariana
Image credits: Unsplash
